Its All Too Much
by moonlightsleep
Summary: Its Just all to much for Cat to handle. The abuse. The hurt. The pain. She has a specail way of handling it. But will it kill her in the end? NO LONGER A ONE SHOT. REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: Yes, I own Victorious." "What? No you don't!" "DAMN."**_

_Slice, cut, slice, cut_

_One slice for being not good enough._

_One cut for being clueless and stupid._

_One slice for acting like a child._

_One cut for wanting to be someone._

Blood is running like a river down my arm, mixed in with the salty tears that drip down my pale face. The words my father said sunk into my mind once again like ink drips onto a white piece of paper, _"Your nothing but a dumb, clueless bitch. No one loves you and no one wants you. I wish you would just leave this town. You have no talent." _

He's right. I'm nothing to this world. The pain of my actions relives me for a few seconds. But soon another one will have to come in contact with my skin to replace it. A small pool of blood has gathered around me, my shirt and jeans are stained from it. But I could care less, it reminds me of the reasons I dyed me hair red.

_Red for the blood that seeps through my skin._

_Red for the belt my father whips me with._

_Red for eyes, which are blood-shot from crying._

_Red for my heart that is broken from beatings._

My friends don't know, they wouldn't understand. A lot of people underestimate my acting skills. When really, my life is a play that is a continuous story. My role? A helpless, confused, innocent teenager with a passion for singing and dancing. The only part that is real is the passion I have for the arts. It's who I am and what I do to help me coupe with my home life. I figured out a better way though, through my wrists. The large sweeps of my razor across my arms brings a smile to my face.

My razor and I. Me and my razor.

We fit together like a puzzle piece in a puzzle.

Slowly, oh so slowly dying away in my bathroom.

**A/N My first one shot and my first Victorious Fanfic! This is SO exciting! Did yall like it? Did you love it? OH NO, did you hate it? I love Cat angst stories because they contradict her SO much. Does anybody want me to make this more that a one shot? IF YOU DO, please answer the poll on my profile that will tell me what to include in it! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ****Only took me two days to update! I would like to dedicate this story to InfinityForever7. She pretty much inspired this whole story. So, GO, READ, AND REVIEW HER STORIES.**

_**Disclaimer: Aww fuck this. I do not own it.**_

**Jade POV**

Staring at the phone in my lap a single tear dropped down my cheek.

_**I'm sorry Jade but this is not working out. We need to break up.**_

Beck just dumped me over a text. I really need to talk to someone about this. I picked up the phone and called Cat. No answer. All well, I will just go over there anyway. She will not mind. I usually would not tell anyone this, but Cat is my best friend. Simple as that. Our relationship is very _simple. _Those weird butterfly feelings in my stomach mean nothing and are normal.

Oh, who am I kidding? The feeling is nowhere close to normal. However, I cannot deal with this right now. I grabbed my keys and my combat boots and walked out the door.

**Cat POV**

I groggily opened my eyes. Someone was shaking me and yelling, "CAT WAKE UP!" Jade? What was she doing here looking all worried? I looked down my body to see all my clothes ripped and smeared with blood. Oh, shit. I remembered what I was doing before I passed out from what must have been blood loss. Jade wrapped me in her arms when she saw me waking up. I did not have the energy to fight back. We just sat there for what seemed like years but was probably only a few minutes. It finally registered in her brain what was going on and a million questions ran from her mouth at once.

"Why are your clothes ripped?"

"Why are you all bloody?"

"Who did this to you?"

"Why did you pass out?"

"Where are your parents?"

"Do you want to clean up?"

This was not a Jade most people are used to seeing. A concerned and worried one. At times she would show this side to me, but only because we were best friends. We have been that way since 1st grade when we stared in a play together and shared a dressing room. Lately I have been staring more and more at her. At her nice long legs and bright white smile… NO Cat STOP thinking about her like that. It _wrong._

Anyway, the only question of hers that I was able to comprehend was the last one. I nodded my head and she understood immediately. She went to grab me some pajamas from my room and turned on the water while I tried to stand up. I was so dizzy though so I stumbled over but Jade was there to catch me. She left me to my shower and I scrubbed away all the blood. I went about drying myself off and I grabbed the pink pajamas. Shimming into them I opened the bathroom door. Jade was sitting on the bed being quiet and looking confused. This was really out of character for her, even around me she is not usually this quiet. Slowly, as I approached the bed and she turned her head my direction.

"Cat, we need to have a little chat. Oh, shit.

**A/N: Well… did you enjoy it? I hope so! Kind of short, sorry. Review and tell me if you really liked it. Or really hated it. JUST REVIEW IN GENERAL. **

**Me and InfinityForever7 are PMing about going on strike for American tea and cookies. Screw British ones. Who's with us? REBELIAN**.

**Peace. Love. Pineapple Pizza.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: No, I don't own it. How bout now? No? Great._

**Jade POV **

My lips quivered when I asked her this. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I had just found my best friend who I may or may not have feelings for, lying in the middle of her bathroom floor covered in blood! I was going to KILL whoever did this to her. Cat is so innocent; hurting her is like kicking a little puppy. You just can't do it.

"Jade?" her words broke me out of my thoughts and realized that I had zoned out. She walked over and sat beside me on the bed, wet hair was cascading around her face to where I couldn't see it. Realizing she had my attention, she continued.

"I have decided to tell you what's been happening, but you have to promise of your life not to tell anyone ok?"

"Cat, I swear that I will not tell anyone." I told her.

"Ok I guess I should start from the beginning then...

_When I was little my dad started to drink. Not too much, usually just on the weekends. Over the years, though he started to do it more and more just to get drunk. He thinks doing it will make all of his problems go away. When I was eleven, he started abusing me. A few punches here, a couple kicks there, and verbally sometimes. My mom just stands there and watches it; she tells me that she doesn't know how to stop it. About three months ago, I discovered a way to cope with the pain. I know it isn't healthy but it helps SO much. I started cutting myself to relieve myself. That's why I was covered with blood in the bathroom; I passed out from blood-loss. I never meant for anyone to find out this way. I'm so sorry Jade, I really am."_

I'm so shocked that I can almost hear my jaw hitting the floor. All I could process in my mind at the moment was_ dad, abusing, blood, everywhere. Cat, cutting. _My arms instinctively wrapped around her small fragile body, and she let out a spine-rattling sob. She had been in pain all her life and I was over here to complain about my boyfriend dumping me. Well screw Beck; Cat was about ten times more important than that Canadian asshole. She looked up at me with those brown chocolate eyes and said, "Thank you Jade, for everything you've done for me. You're the best friend anyone can ask for. The rest of the school is wrong for thinking you're so mean and self-centered."

"No problem Kitty-Cat" It was the first time she smiled all night, and it made me happy that I do that for her.

There was a bigger problem here at the moment though. How in the world do I get Cat away from this nightmare of a father?

Because god knows that, I sure as hell will.

**A/N: OK so I know this is crappy and a day late. I'm sorry to disappoint you BUT I have a good reason that I couldn't update. Wednesday I had church, Thursday was the biggest high school football game of the season, and Friday I had to go to my best friend's birthday party, which was until midnight. Good enough reasons? No? Deal with it. **

**I LOVE ALL WHO REVIEW! Because reviews make me happy **

**Peace. Love. Pineapple Pizza.**


	4. Chapter 4

**OH. MY. GOSH. It has been like 895739573457 days since I updated. I'm so sorry! I hope this will make up for it? OH and if you find The Hunger Games reference YOU WIN A SHOUTOUT. If your first to contact me about it.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious because if I did they would all be tributes in the next Hunger Games. Tori would make a great Katniss. New story? Maybe.**

**Jade POV**

I was quick to grab her pink suitcase out of her closet. I ripped open her dresser and threw all of her clothes in it.

Cat just sat there on her bed and looked at her lap with tears slowly descending her cheeks.

When I finish packing all of the essentials, I grabbed her arm and dragged her into the hallway and down the stairs. We walked out onto the poorly lit porch. Well, I walked Cat was pulled. It wasn't even that she was resisting, she appeared to be in some type of trance. And this, was very worrying to me. Either she was in pure shock, or she has lost _way _to much blood.

It was probably both.

I mean, it's not everyday that you are forced to explain why you where half dead in the middle of your bathroom floor. Much less to the Goth girl who's mean to anyone who even _looks_ at her. This was a big deal for her. As it was for me too. It showed me that she trusted me. True, I had to walk in on her cutting herself to find out, but hey, at least she didn't shut me out.

My car stood down at the end of the driveway, and as we got in, I did a quick survey of the road behind me to make sure her father was not coming. The coast looked clear so I pulled out onto the street. I glanced at the clock; it read 12:37 AM. We gotta get outta here before that monster comes back for her.

As we drove through Hollywood Cat stared out the window while I thought of ways to cheer her up just a little bit. I decided to drive to a small 24-hour ice cream Shoppe off Sunset.

What? She LOVES ice cream and maybe I will get to see one of her beautiful smiles again.

My plan worked.

Unless I was imagining it when I saw the corners of her pink, lips tilt up. But that's highly unlikely because Jade West is never wrong. Ever.

Cat just drifted off to the tables while I ordered her red velvet flavored ice-cream cone, and a coffee for me. I brought her the cone and sat down.

"Jade, where are we going?" she whispered to me. I was surprised I got her to talk this easily.

"Ummm, well I guess we could go to my house. My parents aren't ever home." She never responded but im going to take it as a yes anyway. When she finished her cold treat, we got up from the table. As, I turned around I saw one familiar face staring back at me.

Oh. My. God. What is Tori Vega doing here? At ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING?

I froze and so did Cat once she took notice.

Tori stared at us as if we were aliens. But I suppose when you run into your friends and one has Mascara all over her cheeks, and the other has crying stains all over her shirt, your going to be questioning it.

Because nothing can ever go right for me.

Nope, the odds are defiantly not in my favor tonight.

HEY. What's up my little gumdrops? It's been forever since ive contacted you. How have you been? Did you miss me? Am I asking too many questions? I have information for you to know! FIRST, I would like to clear up that I am NOT lesbian, nor am I bisexual. But I do support the gay community. NO HATE.

Well that's all ive got to say, except for you to review. Because without them who knows how long it could take me to update.

I love you all more than Katniss loves Prim.

And that's a whole damn lot.

Peace. Love. Hunger Games.


	5. Chapter 5

**Cat's POV**

This was all moving too fast for me. One second I am waiting for the eternal bliss death brings and the next I'm being drug out of my house. Jade is acting as if the world is ending and in a way, I supposed for her it is.

I am Jade's only true friend. Everyone at school hates her because of her attitude or is jealous of her because her voice sounds like an angel's. Every day I see her ignored by kids in the hallway and she acts like she doesn't care but she does. I see her build more layers around the wall that surrounds her. I live for the times when we are alone in her bedroom and she takes down the wall piece by piece as I attempt to see the girl inside. It brings me pride that I am the only one aloud to see that happen. She never does it for anyone else, not even Beck. I know her. It's something Beck never managed to do. To actually know who she is and how she works.

He didn't know that her favorite color isn't black but a burnt orange that looks like autumn.

He didn't know that her favorite musical is wicked and she can recite every line and sing every note of that play from beginning to end.

He didn't know that she wears glasses when home alone.

He didn't know she owned more books than the local library could ever dream of owning.

He just didn't _know_ her.

And that made me angrier than anything. That Beck gets to hold her and call her his and he doesn't ever even take the time to understand the real her. The her that doesn't act like a ganky bitch. Jade deserved better than him.

Jade deserved _me._

And twenty-four hours ago I would have pushed the thought and the feelings away, but I just can't bring myself to do that anymore. The war inside of my must stop, I'm too tired to fight it any more. So yeah, maybe Jade's constant picking of Beck over me helped in my spiral of depression. But I'll never tell her that half.

So as she takes my cold hand in hers as she pulls me inside the tiny ice cream shop I try to ignore the bolt of electricity that runs through me. I try to pretend that maybe she felt it too. I don't say a word and she automatically orders me red velvet ice cream just because she knows me. She knows me as well as I know her. I look into her eyes and see worry and doubt and sadness laying within the emerald orbs. It breaks my heart to realize I put it there. It crushes my heart when I realize I can't take it away.

I walk break eye contact and walk away without a word. I sit and just stare at my hands in my lap. I wait for Jade and when she gives me my ice cream I stare at it for around 2 minutes. The entire thing between us at the moment is awkward and uncomfortable, which it shouldn't be because we are Cat and Jade. Best friends, so why does it feel like I've never had a conversation with her? The decision to go was mutual and needed no words for the message to be conveyed. Jade turns around to go to the door and stops dead in her tracks at what she sees. I go around her and my entire body tenses when my eyes meet chocolate brown ones.

"Cat? Jade?" Tori asks as she approaches both of us. Jade grabs my hand protectively as she comes nearer.

"Vega." Jade's response is short and her voice is laced with venom. Tori's eyes study my face and she notices that I'm a complete wreck. Her facial expressions go from shocked to confused to worried to angry in around a second. She turns her head to look at Jade and scowls, "What did you do to her?"

"Excuse me?" Jade looks almost offended by her comment.

"You heard me Jade. What the fuck did you do to Cat. She's been crying. Anyone with eyes can see that, and you are the only one here who can make a child cry. You are just a heartless bitch." I scoff at the comment and roll my eyes. Of course Tori said child, she only think of me as a pet. I knew they all did and it barely offended me anymore, but her comment on Jade set my blood boiling. No one talks about Jade like that. So before Jade can even respond to it I already am, "Shut the fuck up Tori." My voice is low and vicious and so un cat like I even surprised myself. Everything is quiet as they look at me with shocked expressions. I push Jade behind me and get up in Tori's face.

"I'm sick of you and everyone else treating Jade like she's worthless. She's a human being and deserves to be treated like one. No one insults Jade when I am around okay? Because if I even think that you are going around talking about her, you are going to wish you were dead. Understand?"

I don't see her reaction because Jade has grabbed my wrist and is pulling me out of the shop. I toss a glace over my shoulder and see tears rolling down Tori's tan cheeks. I then follow Jade out to the car with a smirk on my face.

I feel no regret.

**Long time no see! Sorry I haven't updated this in forever, but I got bored today and decided I needed to finish this one out! So I promise I will finish it If it's the last thing I do! Expect an update around once a week maybe every two weeks! Feel free to PM me with ideas or find me on Tumblr at:**

** .com**

**I can always answer questions and stuff there. I hope to see what you all thought of this chapter!**


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